Freedom to Fly...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Okay...
So my roommate said something really rude about me and she's supposed to be my best friend. I'm not sure how to approach it. She obviously knew it'd get back to me, so I can't believe she'd say it. I'm faking happiness, but there is tension in the house and it needs to get resolved. I'm not so sure I can keep this up. She's made me cry so many times. Best friends don't do that. Thus she's been demoted, and my dog promoted. Good plan, in my opinion. =]
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Very Tired
I'm super tired because I had to get up and hour and a half earlier than usual today, so I'm going to make this short.
First of all, the super early morning I had was 7:30. I'm getting spoiled this semester. My potential schedule for next semester has an 8 am class. That'll be rough.
Second: my roommate's friend/coworker had a baby today and for an HOUR (an hour!) she went nuts. "BABY! BABY!! LOOK AT HIM!" I was on the phone with my dad for half of that and he kept asking if he was on speaker because she was so loud. Moral: baby + wint-o' green mints + hunger + late pizza delivery guy + candy corn + short visit from her parents = Crazy Kelsey
Third: apparently those mints have a laxative effect if you eat too many (like a whole bag) in one night. Kels showed up at school on day last year and told me that. Hope that helps you.
Fourth: I love the Big Bang Theory. This is my favorite moment of all 5 seasons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMR408Z3AxQ Enjoy!
Fifth: I'm kind of thinking about someday down the road becoming a professor. We shall see.
Finally: Miley Cyrus beat Adele by 1 spot on VH1's top 100 countdown of the 00's. I cried a little.
First of all, the super early morning I had was 7:30. I'm getting spoiled this semester. My potential schedule for next semester has an 8 am class. That'll be rough.
Second: my roommate's friend/coworker had a baby today and for an HOUR (an hour!) she went nuts. "BABY! BABY!! LOOK AT HIM!" I was on the phone with my dad for half of that and he kept asking if he was on speaker because she was so loud. Moral: baby + wint-o' green mints + hunger + late pizza delivery guy + candy corn + short visit from her parents = Crazy Kelsey
Third: apparently those mints have a laxative effect if you eat too many (like a whole bag) in one night. Kels showed up at school on day last year and told me that. Hope that helps you.
Fourth: I love the Big Bang Theory. This is my favorite moment of all 5 seasons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMR408Z3AxQ Enjoy!
Fifth: I'm kind of thinking about someday down the road becoming a professor. We shall see.
Finally: Miley Cyrus beat Adele by 1 spot on VH1's top 100 countdown of the 00's. I cried a little.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
A House of My Own
9. Every night. Without fail. My roommates are in bed.
They're not sleeping, necessarily, but feel the need to hide away, leaving me the house to myself essentially.
Why complain? Wouldn't this be grand?
As a matter of fact it sucks.
Example #1:
Tonight was my first night of my world religions class. It ran 7-10. My original hope was to walk there, but have them pick me up so as not to have to walk 6 blocks in the dark through a high concentration of college housing. But that was too much to ask. I was instead forced to drive myself, park on the street (hoping that I didn't do it illegally because regulations here are CRAZY) 1 1/2 blocks away from campus and walk. Which is fine in the daylight. But at 10pm? That was creepy. Someone was keeping pace with me the whole time about 20 paces back. That never happens. I walk slowly due to my short legs so everyone seems to pass me. I was a little spooked. Coincidence probably, but still uncomfortable.
Example #2:
I'm having a hard time adjusting to living on my own. I miss my family. I miss companionship. I MISS MY DOGS LIKE CRAZY! As a consequence, I have not been sleeping well. I usually don't fall asleep until 1am. This means that from 9pm-1am I am alone. And I don't feel like the house is mine. I feel like the closest thing to being mine is my room, but not even that is very comforting. I was initially afraid of them being up later than me, but its completely reversed. And they have the room off the living room, so I feel like I shouldn't be out there to avoid disturbing them. The walls are also thin, so I hear them sometimes. One day they thought it would be funny to knock on the wall. I was asleep until then. I was not happy. My room is small and I start to feel claustrophobic.
To complicate matters, I'm living with my best friend. So I feel if I bring any of this up it could cause a rift in our friendship. I don't want to do that. I feel like I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I just want the year to be over.
My landlord allows small pets. Yes, even small dogs. I'd love for this to mean I get a dog. Housetrained already, small, needing a home. It would add a sense of comfort for me, and make me feel like I'm not entirely alone. Ever since 5th grade, all through middle school and high school, I battled depression, and my dogs were my comfort. They can calm me down during the worst of times. Kels is cool with it, but Gayl seems to be incredibly against it. I don't even know why. I feel like this isn't my house, but more like I'm living in their house. I don't care for it. Where we have differences (dining, groceries, etc) my way, the standard I'm used to, seems to always be cast aside for theirs. Its making the adjustment just that much harder.
I don't feel like I belong here. At all. I feel like the campus is too big, this house isn't mine, and a lot of the students are fake. Knowing that I have advancement opportunities if I were to have continued at my previous job makes the entire transition that much more difficult. I can't find a job. I had a job. I could have that job back in an instant if I wanted. I liked that job. Why am I here? Granted, I want to have a career outside of Chula, but if its this difficult and terrible, I'm not so sure its worth it.
They're not sleeping, necessarily, but feel the need to hide away, leaving me the house to myself essentially.
Why complain? Wouldn't this be grand?
As a matter of fact it sucks.
Example #1:
Tonight was my first night of my world religions class. It ran 7-10. My original hope was to walk there, but have them pick me up so as not to have to walk 6 blocks in the dark through a high concentration of college housing. But that was too much to ask. I was instead forced to drive myself, park on the street (hoping that I didn't do it illegally because regulations here are CRAZY) 1 1/2 blocks away from campus and walk. Which is fine in the daylight. But at 10pm? That was creepy. Someone was keeping pace with me the whole time about 20 paces back. That never happens. I walk slowly due to my short legs so everyone seems to pass me. I was a little spooked. Coincidence probably, but still uncomfortable.
Example #2:
I'm having a hard time adjusting to living on my own. I miss my family. I miss companionship. I MISS MY DOGS LIKE CRAZY! As a consequence, I have not been sleeping well. I usually don't fall asleep until 1am. This means that from 9pm-1am I am alone. And I don't feel like the house is mine. I feel like the closest thing to being mine is my room, but not even that is very comforting. I was initially afraid of them being up later than me, but its completely reversed. And they have the room off the living room, so I feel like I shouldn't be out there to avoid disturbing them. The walls are also thin, so I hear them sometimes. One day they thought it would be funny to knock on the wall. I was asleep until then. I was not happy. My room is small and I start to feel claustrophobic.
To complicate matters, I'm living with my best friend. So I feel if I bring any of this up it could cause a rift in our friendship. I don't want to do that. I feel like I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do. I just want the year to be over.
My landlord allows small pets. Yes, even small dogs. I'd love for this to mean I get a dog. Housetrained already, small, needing a home. It would add a sense of comfort for me, and make me feel like I'm not entirely alone. Ever since 5th grade, all through middle school and high school, I battled depression, and my dogs were my comfort. They can calm me down during the worst of times. Kels is cool with it, but Gayl seems to be incredibly against it. I don't even know why. I feel like this isn't my house, but more like I'm living in their house. I don't care for it. Where we have differences (dining, groceries, etc) my way, the standard I'm used to, seems to always be cast aside for theirs. Its making the adjustment just that much harder.
I don't feel like I belong here. At all. I feel like the campus is too big, this house isn't mine, and a lot of the students are fake. Knowing that I have advancement opportunities if I were to have continued at my previous job makes the entire transition that much more difficult. I can't find a job. I had a job. I could have that job back in an instant if I wanted. I liked that job. Why am I here? Granted, I want to have a career outside of Chula, but if its this difficult and terrible, I'm not so sure its worth it.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Packers, Bikes, and Construction
I've been in Oshkosh for about a week now. I'm completely overwhelmed. This, in part, has led to my delinquency on my blog.
Packers. I've moved to a house located ~45 minutes from the heart of Packer country. Naturally, this would affect even the slightest of football fans. Last Thursday my beautiful roomie and I enjoyed the final preseason game. It was stressful, fun, and intense. But it was just preseason so it didn't really count, other than giving us a few new players to look for, and pray that Rogers never gets hurt. The second string quaterback is acceptable, but not ideal, while the third string is simply atrocious in my opinion. I don't even play football and know that the object of the game is to move the ball forward (He went to throw and upon pulling his arm back ended up sending the ball sailing backward. He then failed to notice and followed through with his arm, suddenly wondering where in the world the ball went.). Well tonight was opening night of the entire NFL and luckily it went much better. I'm happy to report that my beloved Packers won the game, and Drew Brees looked to be on the brink of tears at the end of the game. =] Go Pack go!
Bikes. Well, my house is 5 blocks from the closest building on campus, which equates to a 15-25 minute walk depending on where I'm headed and how busy traffic is. I cross two busy streets, the first being Jackson. I kid you not there have been two pedestrians struck by vehicles over the past month. One was only yesterday. This terrifies me. It's bad to cross when walking, but almost more intimidating on a bike. Bikes cut down the commute from 20 minutes to ~5. This is great. But its hard to decide where to ride. Nobody rides on the street here, but the sidewalks can get very congested and I find myself riding on people's lawns. Nobody seems to mind, but I don't care for it. Biking is very popular around campus, which means the number of places to park and lock up your bike is limited. Fortunately, there doesn't seem to be an issue with locking your bike to any permanent structure, such as fences, light posts, or even benches. I plan to take full advantage of this.
Construction. Blows. Big time. I was hoping to escape the chaos of construction (Reedsburg has torn up half of the town). I was wrong. Elmwood, Algoma, and High Ave. are all being repaved, and, even in one case, rerouted. They were supposed to be done by the time the semester started. I can tell you they are not, nor do they seem to be anywhere near. These are the three major roads that run through campus, and its almost impossible to get anywhere without taking one. I have to cross Elmwood everyday, which is the worst out of them all. Half is sort-of paved, the other half is gravel, all the sidewalks are torn up every other square. I literally had to get off my bike and walk it across the street today because there was no safe place to cross that would not result of me falling off, flipping on my face, or some other disaster. I'm sure I look like a moron, but I've had gravel in joints before and its NOT fun. Not to mention that these are HUGE pieces of gravel- like the size of baseballs (granted, not all are, but enough to make it scary).
I'm lonely. I'm sad. I'm homesick. I was fine for a bit, but Kels is having a hard time and it shows, and it has started to rub off on me. I'm happy to be on my own, but its hard to make friends. I'm not thoroughly outgoing and it seems like groups have already formed. Either I'm in classes with freshman, who went through orientation together and have bonded, or in upper level courses with people who have been together for a while. This is especially true in my holocaust class. Everyone has a buddy. I don't. I'm confused on personal issues too, but I'll save that for another night. Or never. We'll see. And to top it all off, my window a/c unit is possessed. It makes the weirdest, creepiest, loudest noise when it kicks it in. It's also right next to my desk, so I have to turn it off when I'm working in here. Its a giant pain.
*Pictures- Left: Me pausing for a vanity shot in the bathroom while photographing my apartment one night. Right: Kelsey attempting to silence the jumping washer one day when I made a comment about it sounding like it was about to explode.
Bikes. Well, my house is 5 blocks from the closest building on campus, which equates to a 15-25 minute walk depending on where I'm headed and how busy traffic is. I cross two busy streets, the first being Jackson. I kid you not there have been two pedestrians struck by vehicles over the past month. One was only yesterday. This terrifies me. It's bad to cross when walking, but almost more intimidating on a bike. Bikes cut down the commute from 20 minutes to ~5. This is great. But its hard to decide where to ride. Nobody rides on the street here, but the sidewalks can get very congested and I find myself riding on people's lawns. Nobody seems to mind, but I don't care for it. Biking is very popular around campus, which means the number of places to park and lock up your bike is limited. Fortunately, there doesn't seem to be an issue with locking your bike to any permanent structure, such as fences, light posts, or even benches. I plan to take full advantage of this.
Construction. Blows. Big time. I was hoping to escape the chaos of construction (Reedsburg has torn up half of the town). I was wrong. Elmwood, Algoma, and High Ave. are all being repaved, and, even in one case, rerouted. They were supposed to be done by the time the semester started. I can tell you they are not, nor do they seem to be anywhere near. These are the three major roads that run through campus, and its almost impossible to get anywhere without taking one. I have to cross Elmwood everyday, which is the worst out of them all. Half is sort-of paved, the other half is gravel, all the sidewalks are torn up every other square. I literally had to get off my bike and walk it across the street today because there was no safe place to cross that would not result of me falling off, flipping on my face, or some other disaster. I'm sure I look like a moron, but I've had gravel in joints before and its NOT fun. Not to mention that these are HUGE pieces of gravel- like the size of baseballs (granted, not all are, but enough to make it scary).
I'm lonely. I'm sad. I'm homesick. I was fine for a bit, but Kels is having a hard time and it shows, and it has started to rub off on me. I'm happy to be on my own, but its hard to make friends. I'm not thoroughly outgoing and it seems like groups have already formed. Either I'm in classes with freshman, who went through orientation together and have bonded, or in upper level courses with people who have been together for a while. This is especially true in my holocaust class. Everyone has a buddy. I don't. I'm confused on personal issues too, but I'll save that for another night. Or never. We'll see. And to top it all off, my window a/c unit is possessed. It makes the weirdest, creepiest, loudest noise when it kicks it in. It's also right next to my desk, so I have to turn it off when I'm working in here. Its a giant pain.*Pictures- Left: Me pausing for a vanity shot in the bathroom while photographing my apartment one night. Right: Kelsey attempting to silence the jumping washer one day when I made a comment about it sounding like it was about to explode.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Edits
I'm not sure how many times I've edited the design of this blog. I try to make it look nice, decide its too complicated, then switch. I've just spent the past 15 minutes fixing my latest mistake. A complete waste of time, I know.
I got some of my books for school today. =] They're all for my religious studies courses. =] I have...
I'm very excited, and have more coming. =] I can't wait for my Holocaust and American Memory class. Its right up my alley.
I'm thinking that I've chosen London for my study abroad program. As much as I would love Rome, I think London would be the most logical choice for me. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice.
I got some of my books for school today. =] They're all for my religious studies courses. =] I have...
I'm thinking that I've chosen London for my study abroad program. As much as I would love Rome, I think London would be the most logical choice for me. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice.
Friday, August 19, 2011
London or Rome?
I'm trying to decide between London and Rome for a study abroad experience. Every time I think I make up my mind I end up second guessing myself. Obviously I still have time, but I feel better when I have a plan, a goal, a destination.
London.
Homestay. At a university with British students. English-speaking country. Better courses.
Rome.
Italian. Near the Vatican. Student apartment. Not sure about where it is. Only one RS course.
I'm leaning toward London. I think it would be easier for me to navigate. But I'd love to be able to study religion right at the heart of Catholicism. Bah! I don't know. Many many choices to make. I'm going to meet with advisors at school and have requested information from both. Only time will tell.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Hearts Have Colors Don't We All Know..
I've just spent the past half an hour looking up my soon-to-be professors on ratemyprofessor.com. Two of them aren't on there, the other three have really good ratings on ease, helpfulness, and overall quality, and bonus! two are listed as "hot." Hotness is not necessarily a quality I look for or even value in professors, but its nice to know. Frankly I find that if you find an authority figure "hot" it can throw off the entire dynamic and lead to awkwardness. Or at least with me it can. I'm thoroughly awkward.
So the title of this is a line from "Kaleidoscope Heart" by Sara Bareilles. She is my favorite! I saw her in concert last November. =] I still keep the ticket in my wallet.
Well, I was jamming out to her album on my drive to work the other day and started thinking about that line. "Red runs through our veins" is another line, but beyond that, I'd love to think that a heart is colored based upon love offered or the goodness of one's soul. Kind and sweet people would have beautifully colored hearts in all sorts of fabulous shades of magenta, rouge, blue, etc. Imagine opening someone up for open-heart surgery only to find a beautiful purple heart. =] If you don't think about the prospective grossness of that but focus solely on how beautiful it could be compared to the nastiness of organs. I'm sure this sounds absolutely absurd. But how cool would it be to say that you have a purple heart? Or if you're not so good, a brown heart. You could work towards better colors, and I just imagine a radiance emitting from those with pretty hearts.
I'm sure this is just absurd. Oh well, I have long drives every day and I think strange things. Listen to it. Maybe you'll agree. =]
I also adore A Fine Frenzy. Her music reminds me of fall, rainy days, and, oddly enough, Door County (although I think that's due to me listening to it constantly when I was there last August). It's folksy but still not quite true folk music. Folksy pop? I'm not sure. Sometimes labels don't make things better, they just make them confusing. This is one of my favorite songs, "Borrowed Time."
I'm waiting for fall. It's my favorite season and I'm hoping that being two hours north will help enrich and prolong the season. I am disappointed that I won't be close to Pecks, my favorite farmers market anymore. We went every year when I was young and I've resurrected that tradition these past few years.
Last fall after class one day, Kels and I went to Ski Hi, an apple orchard, to the south shore of Devil's Lake, to Sauk City for lunch and a look at the flooding river, and down over to Pecks in Spring Green. It was an amazing day. I guess we'll just have to explore and see what we can find up north.
Well, I guess that's it for now. Ta ta!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Distracted
So I got a little distracted with the first one. The premise of this, or at least my attempt, is to keep track of my notable and even not-so-notable days. I just got a new computer bag that is kind of going to keep my life together when I move north, and I love it. Here it is packed for work today! We ran out of lockers and keys keep disappearing, security says we can't keep our stuff up with us, and the owners won't let us leave it in the managers office. I figure if I haul a bag full of stuff it'll be harder to target my tiny wallet/pouch that I hide at the bottom. I'm happy I only have 1 1/2 weeks left.
Here is Cale. He tends to follow me around and watch from afar (sometimes underfoot, although he's learning that doesn't yield the best results) whenever I'm the only one home. However, once mom returns especially, I'm chopped liver.
I just bought a '93 geo tracker and sold my malibu. The malibu was a good little car, I've just wanted a geo for a looong time! I love this thing. Kels, Bree, and I took it to Devil's Lake yesterday, top down and all. It felt great on the way there, but by the time we drove home at 8 PM, still slightly wet and freezing because Monks (our favorite bar and grill) cranked the a/c, we all wished the top was up.
Mischa has been hunting rabbits in our backyard for some time now. She almost caught one about an hour ago, but I called her in before she got very far. She wasn't too happy with me.
Pardon the crooked pictures- I haven't figured out this exactly, and am still learning how exactly to operate my computer. Well I have to go pack supper and get ready for work. Until the next adventure... (that's lame, I know)
Oshkosh
I move exactly two weeks from today! I can't believe it. Last time I saw my tiny room in my tiny Oshkosh apartment my roommate was using it as a storage closet. Heres hoping that its cleaned by the time I'm up there.
My parents bought a brand new LED Vizio TV for me as a parting gift (?) I guess. I know nothing about TVs, but they told me its the highest picture quality and my dad keeps telling me he's going to keep it and give me the one in his garage. Ha ha. Luckily mum is on my side.
I'm starting to worry that I won't have enough room for all my furniture. It's not like I have a lot, I just don't have space. I have a very small desk and bookshelves, and plan on putting my dresser in my closet, so cross your fingers!
Side note: commercials confuse me. I thought advertisers wanted to make products and services attractive, but lately so many either don't make sense, or, I don't know if they're aiming for beauty, use really hideous or mismatched people. I just saw a baby that looked like a bullfrog. He reminded me of a male, baby version of Umbridge from HP5.
I've been reading a lot of HP lately. It's a good escape from the drama, especially at work. But its led to some crazy dreams. I'm almost not sure its worth it... hmm.
Well I ought to go be productive. I'm not sure if this will ever be read by anyone, but seeing as I'm moving in two weeks and hope to travel to Italy next year, this could come in handy. Ciao!
My parents bought a brand new LED Vizio TV for me as a parting gift (?) I guess. I know nothing about TVs, but they told me its the highest picture quality and my dad keeps telling me he's going to keep it and give me the one in his garage. Ha ha. Luckily mum is on my side.
I'm starting to worry that I won't have enough room for all my furniture. It's not like I have a lot, I just don't have space. I have a very small desk and bookshelves, and plan on putting my dresser in my closet, so cross your fingers!
Side note: commercials confuse me. I thought advertisers wanted to make products and services attractive, but lately so many either don't make sense, or, I don't know if they're aiming for beauty, use really hideous or mismatched people. I just saw a baby that looked like a bullfrog. He reminded me of a male, baby version of Umbridge from HP5.
I've been reading a lot of HP lately. It's a good escape from the drama, especially at work. But its led to some crazy dreams. I'm almost not sure its worth it... hmm.
Well I ought to go be productive. I'm not sure if this will ever be read by anyone, but seeing as I'm moving in two weeks and hope to travel to Italy next year, this could come in handy. Ciao!
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